Just Watched: Never Ending Summer

I think Never Ending Summer is more a story about obsession than it is about love.

Hear me out.

I know, I know, Xixiao made me swoon too. Whaddyu mean there’s a guy that’s willing to give up everything for you, devote his life to you, plan his life around you, defend you with his life, and then smile like heaven just opened up just cause he gets to see your face?

It’s like, “I want nothing in return except you.”

And that’s so sweet.

And I don’t know if it’s the way Wan handled his affections that revealed that his love had actually become an obsession, because boy did she do that boy some grave damage, or if it had always been there just beneath the surface because of all the wounds he had from his mother’s abandonment and his father’s callousness/selfishness.

As I watched it, my brain was doing a whole dissertation on why girls are usually drawn to the bad-boy type. Whaddyu mean this guy who looks like the prince of an otherworldly kingdom, listens to no one, breaks the rules, manages to look like he’s having fun while doing so, is rich so he has nothing to worry about, is unavailable to everyone, suddenly begins to need me?

And I get it. I do. The feminine side of most women wants to nurture. It wants to feel like it’s the reason someone else was saved. At the same time, it thrives from being the center of attention, of being loved and taken care of by a guy who looks like he’s come to life from her fantasies.

But thing is, it’s usually these reasons that lead to the woman being hurt. Because when you’re the center of a person’s world, any little movement from you means their whole world comes crashing down, and it did seem sweet in the movie, but in reality, it’s a heavy burden no one should have to bear.

It’s the reason they start monitoring your calls and flare up in jealous fits. It’s the reason why they might one day hit you, and then curl up in a ball crying their heart out, because they didn’t mean to.

No one talks about how, in real life, bad boys rarely ever change. They retain that devil-may-care attitude no matter how much you devote yourself to them. And sometimes that means dealing with the consequences of their irresponsibility.

And there’s that ego.

It’s almost like they know they can get away with almost anything because their good looks, their money, or the way people have always responded to them has taught them they can push the boundaries in ways most people don’t get away with.

And so you find yourself having to give them chance after chance after chance while you keep losing pieces of yourself, until you’ve forgotten what it means to be whole.

And you know that thing where you keep reminding yourself of the good parts so you can pretend the bad parts aren’t happening? How he makes you feel alive. How he protects you and gives you everything you need. How he stands up for you and makes you feel like there’s no one else that’s worthy of him in this world except you. All those highs that come with earth-crashing lows.

I’m not saying this is how it always is, though. Sometimes it’s really trauma that’s driving the rebellion. It’s really hurt and a track record of being betrayed and tossed aside that’s led them to develop spikes and fangs. But the truth is, that points more to a need for professional healing than to a need for a romantic relationship.

Because there’s still that part of them that’s defensive. That part that doesn’t know how to trust and expects to be betrayed so often they just do it first. There’s still that part that’s hurt, broken, and overly guarded. There’s so much that needs to be untangled, and thinking that your love will fix it all is signing up for some very serious heartbreak.

They need help, so they must first come to the place where they admit it. They also need to learn to trust again, so if you’re choosing to love them, if they’ve agreed to get help and submit to the process of healing, be patient with them.

I hate how Wan broke Xixiao. She probably didn’t know it would destroy him that much, but still, you don’t throw away a person because you’ve decided you know what’s best for both of you. You talk to them. You let them hear your fears, your doubts, and your love. You don’t walk away and say you’re protecting them.

But I’ll give grace. She was 18 after all, with her own share of trauma. They had such beautiful moments, though, and I do believe she thought she was doing what was best.

Do I think you should watch it? Yes, if you like really good romance and a bit of angst. Do I think it was a good story? Yes, with bits and pieces of annoying, especially towards the last quarter. If you choose to watch it, tell me what you think!

See ya!

Signed, Jojo.