Endings and Echoes

Endings and Echoes

Photo from Unsplashed

Eventually all of us will fade, it’s just a matter of time and HOW.

Yes, HOW.

The manner of our departure is significant, too.

How would you choose to face your end, ideally? Naturally, we all want a painless passing.

But it’s also crucial to consider sparing our loved ones – those who we deeply care for – from suffering and burdened as we navigate the dying process.

This realisation came up to me because our family is currently grappling with this challenge.

Even we know that our loved one, who lies suffering on the brink of death, would never have wished us to endure such miseries on his account.

Known for his courage and protective nature, he would never selfishly place us at the forefront of this battle.

Yet, we find ourselves without a choice.

He has become totally dependent, unconscious, seemingly regressed to an infantile state.

His food is delivered directly to his stomach, with mashed and blended nutrients provided every four hours.

Alongside, we must clean containers, tubes, stirrers, and spoons after each feeding, ensuring that everything is sanitized to protect him from infections.

We also need to change his diaper and tend to his bedsores at least 6x a day bearing the heavy weight. Even he lost a lot of fats, his big structured body is still tremendously heavy.

On top of that, we face the additional stress of clearing medication blockages in the feeding tube, and managing sudden fever spikes.

This is our reality, 24/7.

How do we even have a decent sleep, even just about 5-hours, amidst these tasks?

Financial strain is a huge factor, but that’s a topic for another discussion.

Our mother endures this relentless routine with patient dedication, despite her own battle with knee osteoarthritis.

Her suffering is immeasurable.

We, her children, assist when we can, but for her, it is a commitment anchored in her vows of marriage.

Through this ordeal, we are learning profoundly about life, love, and resilience. Perhaps, in some way, our father is still shielding us, his current presence is teaching us to become better, more responsible individuals.

It’s possible that we will emerge from this with stronger familial bonds.

In the end, maybe we will find that this experience has shaped us positively, for the benefit of us all.