The Benjamin Franklin Effect

Why asking for a small favor can sometimes strengthen a relationship more than doing one yourself.

Photo by Adam Nir on Unsplash

It feels natural to like someone who has done you a favor. After all, they are making your life easier even if they have other things to do at the moment. However, what if I told you that the person doing you a favor may actually like you more simply because you asked for their help? This is the exact psychological phenomenon that the Benjamin Franklin Effect describes; rather than kindness arising from liking, the act of helping can create liking.

Now, you might be thinking, “Varun, do you really expect me to love my neighbor after mowing their lawn in the Texas heat?” No, not at all! In fact, I would expect you to be frustrated throughout the entire task. Eventually, though, you might begin wondering why you volunteered to help in the first place. Accounting for the principle of cognitive dissonance in psychology, people begin to feel mental discomfort whenever their actions and beliefs conflict. No one wants to feel like they willingly helped someone they dislike. To resolve this conflict, your mind subtly adjusts your attitude, causing you to like them at least a little in order to justify your past actions.

Benjamin Franklin famously utilized this strategy to turn a political rival into a close friend by asking to borrow a rare book from him. After Franklin returned the book with a thank-you note, his former political rival treated him with warmth and respect, becoming much more willing to help him again in the future.

To put it simply, the brain is a creature of habit. It continuously tries to keep our actions and beliefs consistent in order to maintain mental harmony. Since our feelings toward others are often ambiguous, self-perception theory becomes incredibly useful. Self-perception theory states that people infer their own internal states and emotions by observing their behavior. Personally, if I saw myself from an out-of-body perspective giving cookies to an elderly neighbor, I would probably assume that they had a positive effect on my life. Understanding that your actions can become separate from how you originally thought holds immense value when discovering what you truly care about. It is possible that you are willing to change deep-rooted attitudes in favor of satisfying your intrinsic motivation to help people.

Moreover, we see Benjamin Franklin’s psychological teachings all the time in everyday life. In friendships, disagreements over the amount of quality time spent together can sometimes be resolved if one friend simply takes the time to genuinely listen, even if they do not want to hear opposing viewpoints. In school group projects, I purposefully give each of my partners an important task — even if it is not completely necessary — so that everyone begins to trust one another more. Asking for a small favor can sometimes build stronger relationships than offering one. Some of the strongest connections a young employee can make come from showing small moments of vulnerability and humility when speaking with experienced mentors in the workplace.

Before we celebrate the Benjamin Franklin Effect too much, it’s worth considering its downsides. The obvious hard limit to this effect is that it only works with reasonable, voluntary favors. Once you start forcing someone to do something, the Good Samaritan no longer feels like they are acting out of kindness. Instead, resentment builds, and they may begin seeing you as a manipulative control freak. Toxic behavior should never be excused under the guise of trying out a new psychological experiment. Benjamin Franklin only discovered this concept because it naturally appeared in his own life. This article is not meant to motivate a new mindset of exploiting others. The real reason this article has meaning hinges on what the Benjamin Franklin Effect symbolizes: relationships are often strengthened not by grand gestures, but by small acts of trust, vulnerability, and mutual cooperation.

Writers, bring your chaos, your charm, and your half-baked drafts — ***Beyond Lines*** is ready for the beautiful mess. Let’s publish it!

[embed]Beyond Lines — Join Our Publication Where stories don’t need to be perfect, just real!!!!!.medium.com