You Are Not Alone

I just quit my job. The job that I had in high school and the beginning of college. The one that allowed me to pay for concerts, self-care items, and any basic form of financial freedom. My schedule allowed me to be flexible and by the end I knew everything there was about what I was doing and what was expected of me. In the span of 3 years I became part of the “OG” crew. I enjoyed working there because of the people who I worked with. We all bonded over books, movies and music. We would sit and gossip about the morning crew and our crazy new store manager. However much I loved my job I had to leave. It was time for the change, and as much as I hate to admit it was sucking the life out of me. I am coming ahead to a time in my life where change is necessary and I have to do it. That to me is scary. At my very core I am a calm person who can deal with change and just goes with the flow of life. That part of me is smothered by my new friend anxiety. Change is now scary, and I need to spend hours of my day worrying about what will happen. I plan for every type of scenario and the worst case possible. I waste away for days worrying about a singular moment that probably will not matter in a year from now. I can’t help it, and I don’t know how to fix it.

I am 20 years old and live at home. I do college online because I cannot stand being in a classroom and do not care for the “college experience”. I thought I knew what I wanted to study and do with my life, but I am now changing my major. That alone sent me into a spiral and had me questioning every single fact about my life. I find myself in a place where I don’t know who I am. Am I a good person? Am I a good friend or daughter? Am I a failure? I am paralyzed by fear, and I’m terrified of making the wrong decision. Why is it that we are scared of failure? After all the movies we grew up watching tells our generation that failing makes us human, and that change brings exciting opportunities. If you too feel this way don’t worry you’re not alone.

Unfortunately one of life’s absolutes is change. Just as day turns into night our life will change. It’s ok if that is scary, and I want this to be a safe space for those who need support and feel like they are not alone. I also want you to see the beauty of life and find the little things you love. For example, I just started watching The Vampire Diaries and I love it. The early 2000’s fall vibes make me happy and provides an escape from life’s troubles. What is your escape? Is it a movie or a song? If you don’t have one explore and find it.

My hope for you this week is that you find and enjoy the little things in your daily life. No matter how simple it is, if it brings you joy cherish it. I hope you have a great week and we’ll talk again soon!

-Anxious Anonymous

This weeks playlist:

To Be Loved — Micheal Buble

Bubble Toes — Jack Johnson

American Girls — Harry Styles

Drop Dead — Olivia Rodrigo

Links:

https://www.instagram.com/anxious_anonymous05/