There’s never enough time…

LOOKING OUT MY BACK WINDOW #458

Woke up in Janesville today after our show last night in Edgerton. We’re practicing down here today, so I stayed over — and my room has quite the outstanding view, eh? Yikes!… So, today? Just thinking about how I never have enough time. Not even close. I don’t have enough time to get to everything at work. The band is playing shows and I don’t have enough time to learn the songs as good as I’d like to. The grandkids are playing soccer, I haven’t even been to one game yet. I’m on the board of directors at the Dodge County Humane Society, I missed the last two meetings. My mind never sleeps. So many things to remember. And it starts to affect everything. Physically, I’m having real issues with sleep right now. I don’t usually get a lot of sleep, but — last night I got 3.5 hours. I wake up at some ungodly early time (lately it’s been 3AM) — and my mind just goes off with all the stuff I gotta get to. And I’m up. I’m trying to take some time away and reset all this, maybe simplify some things, focus on health — exercise, eat right, sleep, etc… and so far I’m failing. And who am I failing? I’m failing myself. I’m really not being the best I can be in anything I’m involved with. I know when I get in this “anxiety” zone that stepping back, meditating, reading, writing, and making sure I’m as physically fit as possible is where I need to be. Then I try to reset from there. And I know who’s responsible, too. It’s me. I did this. In many ways I love to live this way, but right now things are borderline unmanageable. And no matter what the reason, when life becomes unmanageable — it’s time to take a good hard look at it. I’d like to just get a good nights sleep again sometime. But… not sure I have that kinda time…