WP3 Revised: WP3: What Was I Made For?

Throughout this semester in WRIT 340, I have been drawn to examine and investigate culture and tradition, and how it is both maintained and lost in the absence of first-hand connection to our countries of origin. WP1, which was titled A True Shanda (שאנדע), The Generational Loss of Yiddish, explored the lingering effects on subsequent generations of the loss of a language and disconnect to a mother tongue, which was evidenced by my own personal experience with the Yiddish language in comparison to my mother, as well as my father. My observation of the role of women in the context ofpassing down recipes in WP2 has inspired and shaped my investigation and exploration in WP3. I am seeking to better understand the inadvertent pressures that have been generationally and traditionally placed on women to maintain, cultivate, and promote culture and tradition through the impact it has had on my Gen-Z peers, to better understand how such norms have impacted their views on motherhood, the matriarchs of their family, and their culture in the context of the maintenance of their own culture in the future when they reach parenthood and one day assume the role as a matriarch and mother.

The work explored in WP3 contributes to the overall effort of seeking to better understand the overall challenges and difficulties of remaining connected to one’s homelands as generations become further removed, both physically and ideologically. I want to better understand the lingering impacts of residing in a traditional community with a strong emphasis on the role of women in preserving culture, their role as “homemakers”, and how they perceive this assumed role of women. I possess curiosity if my Gen-Z peers view the traditional role of women that has been passed down to them through example and ideology if it is a burden to have the responsibility of sharing and passing down the teachings of their culture. I want to better understand why so many of my interviewees, as well as my own family and I, all recall being taught recipes and key pillars of our identities largely by women rather than men. My hope for this exploration is to not only identify and answer such questions but also learn the implications and impacts that manifest amongst my current generation as it may shed light on if we can reduce such pressure and create more shared responsibility in the future.

As someone who has lived in Los Angeles and, socially, resides within the Jewish community, I have created many connections to those within the subgroup of the Persian Jewish community. As first-generation Americans amongst their families, they have a first-hand connection with Iran. Their living parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents serve as a reminder of where they come from and help promote and strengthen their culture and traditions while living in the diaspora mainly through their language. This is such a prominent part of their community that even I, someone who is not Persian, have developed an understanding of the culture and language, and even demonstrated an ability to speak the language. This absence in my own life is not out of my preference, but rather from the generations that followed me as a result of assimilation, social pressure, distance, and the loss of loved ones.

I crave this connection to my culture that so many of my friends have. This inspired WP2, titled“The Taste of Tradition.” I interviewed numerous friends to reflect on their experiences with their respective cultures and how they maintain their cultural ties through the help of food. I realized that food is not only a way we promote and preserve our cultures and traditions, but it is how we share it with others. I always feel a sense of connection when I have a meal with Ashkenazi food. Those meals are not simply just a chance to eat food, but it is also a chance to share stories, reflect on our past, and even compare personal experiences with the person you are sharing your meal with.

My interviews were insightful and even taught me a great deal about the cultures and backgrounds of my friends. The interviewees shared stories and experiences spanning many different countries and cultures, including China, Burma, Lebanon, Armenia, Spain, India, and Iran. Across all interviews, I saw a common theme and sentiment shared, which is that many of my friends learned these recipes from their moms, who themselves were taught these recipes by other female relatives. There was hardly any mention of male figures sharing and teaching these recipes aside from one interviewee.This forced me to reflect on my own experiences, realizing that my traditions have largely been passed down primarily from the women and matriarchs of my family.

In WP3, I utilized three interviews as a mechanism for exploring the topical nature of the primary topic of my work. There were three interviewees, Olivia, Michelle, and Phoebe, all of whom are from Los Angeles, CA and are first generation-Americans from Iran, Brazil, and Armenia. All interviews conducted were standardized by asking the same question to every interviewee. The following questions were included: 1) Who was your primary caregiver from infant to adolescence, 2) How did the care from your mom versus your dad differ, 3) What did they each teach you about your culture, 4) Would you consider your family to have a primary matriarch, 5) What lessons have you learned from the matriarch about your culture?, 6) How would you describe your upbringing? Did it shape the way you view your femininity?, 7) What are your thoughts regarding one-day raising children in the context of culture, and specifically yours?, 8) Has the relationship between mothers and daughters shaped the way you view your culture?, 9) What lessons would you want to pass onto your children?, and 10) What values will you pass and not pass to your children? These questions helped guide my interviews and collect relevant information and data without priming my subjects or shaping their answers to collect inaccurate information.

My research and investigation regarding the pressures traditionally placed on women regarding maintaining culture and tradition highlighted and emphasized the general idea of marriage. This is an incredibly critical and first step to promoting culutre as it is the unification of families, promotes the idea of procreation, and creates the next generation of people to further share a community’s beleifs. Across the three interviews conducted, the general idea of marriage was a common topic and recurring theme that helps demonstrate and illustrate how women are used as a means of promoting culture. Generally, and from the three interviews, in more traditional cultures and countries, marriages are often at younger ages. While thinking of my own family, there are countless stories and examples of family members who wed their spouses at around the ages of 15 to 17 years old. Both Michelle and Phoebe, two first-generation Persian-Jewish Americans shared similar viewpoints, thinking that there is a general resurgence of this common practice from Iran in which people our age are starting to get married at around twenty-three. The common trope is that women met their future spouse blindly and engaged in an arranged marriage in which they quickly wed and the wife’s life shifted to revolve around the family from then on.

Phoebe, whose own parents wed in their early twenties, noticed that there is a general pressure to get married by a certain age and that many women then shed their own goals and aspirations. She described some women as “passive wives,” meaning that they sacrificed their ambition for the sake of becoming homemakers, raising children, and promoting Persian-Jewish culture. This provided an insight into not only a general pattern that I predicted but also that people my age have insight into this resurgence and the noticeable negative drawbacks of making such choices.

Michelle, my second interviewee also noticed this general pattern and similarly demonstrated her resistance towards young marriage. When asked about what aspects of her culture and community she does not particularly align with, she cited that “there is an unspoken general pressure for women to get married at a very young age, focus on having children, which results in many women losing themselves.” This general pressure placed on women derives from traditional ideology in which after a certain age, women are meant to procreate, focus on their families, and be of support to their children and husbands.

This notion has evidence dating all the way back to biblical stories and even Jewish law. Dating back to the ages of Maimonides, a critical rabbinical scholar from the 12th century in Spain, he promoted the idea that “once kiddushin (process of marriage — betrothal) is complete, the woman is legally the wife of the man. The relationship created by kiddushin can only be dissolved by death or divorce. However, the spouses do not live together at that time, and the mutual obligations created by the marital relationship do not take effect until the nisuin (full-fledged marriage) is complete” (n.a., n.d.). This conservative and rather restrictive view on marriage is tremendously influential over Jewish marriages, even in the modern era, regardless of where a practicing Jew lies on the spectrum of observance.

As we continue to assimilate to a new and modernized country, we will inevitably conflict with generational and cultural traditions our communities value, one of which is marriage. Although it is a profound way of maintaining culture, it places a large burden and weight on the shoulders of women, and can often be used as a means of objectification, sexism, and inadvertent (or soemtimes advertent) misogyny. However, these practices and beleifs are so heavily ingrained and have left a stain on marriage, particularly within the Jewish community, despite commonalities outside of the community.

Traditional gender norms help preserve the role of women as the matriarchs who are the main figures at the forefront of preserving generational beliefs. In a wide variety of cultures and even religions, women are taught to assume the role of homemakers and child rearers, and to focus on the issues impacting the home, as opposed to a strong role in the outside world. This reflects a rather traditional view of cisgender and heterosexual individuals largely centered around the notion of the public versus private sphere. Women often occupy the emotional and nurturing spaces of family development, where men are looked to for financial and materialistic support.

When comparing the roles of their mothers and fathers, one of the interviewees, Michelle, explained her father’s role to revolve more around “factual things, reality, scheduling, and money…grounded in the physical world” whereas hermother’s support was evidenced with immaterial and nonfinancial support that her father does not provide. Her idea was supported by the idea that within her culture, they accept that “men and women have different strengths that complement one another, and compensate for the weaknesses or challenges of their partner.” A similar idea was explained by Olivia, explaining that her mother became a stay-at-home mother to support her young children and provide constant support for them, while her dad worked full-time to provide more financial support to the family.” The division of responsibilities of men and women amongst traditional families was supported by all interviewees, highlighting normalized gender inequity.

The notion of the distinct roles of men and women and inequity is supported by the sociological concept of the public and private spheres. The ideology stems from the 18th and 19th centuries when men and women occupied different aspects of society, and remains considerably influential on gender roles even in modern culture. It divides gender roles, demonstrating that “a woman’s place was in the private sphere, which included family life and the home. A man’splace was in the public sphere, whether in politics, in the economic world which was becoming increasingly separate from home life as the Industrial Revolution progressed, or in public social and cultural activity” (Lewis 2019). All of my interviewees demonstrate this general concept in the application of their own parents, illustrating a more nurturing relationship with their mothers, whereas they share a more financially driven and less emotionally involved relationship with their fathers and other male figures in their families.

Prior to examining the maintenance of culture, I realized I have yet to hear people discuss their culture and backgrounds candidly concerning pressures, challenges, and even normalized gender roles that are observable to the naked and outside eye. This sense of silence is baffling, with a root that remains unknown. Perhaps it is viewed as unorthodox to speak negatively on one’s culture, or demonstrating such animosity towards practices creates a sense of shame rendering people unable to speak their mind out of fear. Regardless, the lack of candid conversations regarding culture leads to the question of if we, or at least my peers, live in “cultural silence”, a concept shared by Paulo Freire in Pedagogy of the Oppressed, which he describes as “ignorance and lethargy were the direct product of the whole situation of economic, social, and political domination — and of the paternalism — of which they were victims” (Freire, 30, year). If we live in said culture, does this create the unstated assumption in the context of my research that women of assimilating families are oppressed individuals who do not have autonomy or power over their own lives, and rather are objects used to facilitate the promotion of their cultures and traditions? Although this may not be the case, or applicable to every question, there is an evident aspect that many of us born into these families have a presumed role of providing care, emotional support, and in a sense, being the bearers of culture to our relatives and generations to come.

All interviewees demonstrated a strong level of insight to show a rebellion against cultural silence when they were given a platform or opportunity to safely speak their minds. However, there may be a lack of safe spaces to share such thoughts, resulting in many women not having a choice but to silently assume the gendered roles that have been generationally normalized. This includes becoming the head of promoting their cultures, prioritizing their families above themselves, and conforming to the pressures their respective cultures demand of them.

However, there is a growing sense of rebellion and defiance amongst women, especially in my generation as a result of more liberal and socially progressive ideaology within American culture. One of the ideologies at the forefront of diverging from traditional cultural practices is education. It serves as a roadblock to the traditional role of women in the promotion of culture and tradition. It is influential due to its conflicting nature against the traditional ideology of putting the family and culture before oneself, especially among women as they marry at a younger age than men in traditional settings. It expands women’s, and men’s, knowledge, and internalized beliefs, and can even result in women rebelling against their presumed roles and priority placed on being the bearer of children and culture, as evidenced in my interviews.

All three interviewees are receiving their undergraduate education, and all expressed that that is prioritized above their romantic relationships and long-term personal goals about family planning. Some of the interviewees’ parents and relatives did not receive an education, and this is a value and personal accomplishment that is highly valued by all respective families, and the time commitment it involves, results in less time for the maintenance of social and cultural practices. One of the interviewees, Olivia, is a pre-medical student, hoping to attend medical school within the next year, a testament to a divergence from traditional values of women in our age group to prioritize herself, her career advancement, and following her aspirations.

The general push for women to receive their education and occupy workspaces that were predominantly male-dominated is a push of the new century, especially as women gained more political and social rights in the United States, as well as worldwide. This is evidenced by the fact that “Women earned only 19 percent of bachelor’s degrees in 1900, but their share doubled to 40 percent by 1930… However, women’s percentage of college degrees rose briskly, reaching parity in the early 1980s…Women received more than half of all bachelor’s and first professional degrees by 1990” (PBS). As women increasingly participate in more educational spaces, this embrace and prioritization of education not only expands horizons but forces women to reimagine their values and change their priorities regarding family and life planning.

The work of WP3 enabled the exploration of the impact of the pressure of keeping and perpetuating tradition, culture, and beliefs that has been generationally placed on women, and the direct impact it has on my Gen-Z peers. Through exploration and research, I discovered that despite a silent culture in the sense that these realities and challenges are not spoken of often, they do not go unrecognized. My female friends are aware of the pressures that are placed on them, and the traditional role that is presumed of them. Due to the modern culture that we are born and raised in, there is an awareness and insight that these pressures create gender inequality as they demand certain responsibilities and roles from both men and women that do not frequently overlap. Although this has not created opposition among interviewees regarding family planning, it has created an understanding of what they do and do not wish for themselves in their relationships, marriages, and amongst their children.

There is a general push as we continue to grow in a modernized country to live under rather individualistic values, emphasizing and acknowledging the importance of keeping and promoting culture, as well as a general embrace of tradition and practices, but with the understanding that women are just as important and equal to their male counterparts. My peers expressed the value of the women around them, including the presence of a matriarch in every family. However, as they continue to live in America, they advocate for themselves, demonstrating the importance of reassessing our future in the context of how we wish to develop and create our own families. There is a general push in the direction of equality amongst relationships, an important value that has been emphasized by the work of WP3.

The pressures of culture, promoting tradition, and instilling values in the subsequent generations can become less of an unspoken burden and responsibility if women and their partners are viewed with less diverging contributions and value to the family unit. However, the push to embrace more socially traditional values in light of culture is evident, and may or may not be in isolation to the backgrounds of the interviewees. Nonetheless, while living in the diaspora, and as we become further from our ancestry both ideologically and geographically, both WP1, WP2, and now WP3 allow myself and readers to walk away better understanding that this is a complicated reality we live in, with no perfect solution or answer to how we maintain in an absence. However, what we can do is rebel from our cultures of silence, rebel from inequality, and find a way to embrace the old while making space and welcoming in the new.

Works Cited

Lalezarian, M. (2025, April 10). WP3 Interview. personal.

Levy, P. (2025, April 10). WP3 Interview. personal.

Lewis, J. J. (2019, September 11). Development of separate spheres for men and women. ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/separate-spheres-ideology-3529523#:~:text=In%20the%2018th%20and%2019th,public%20reforms%2C%20 challenging%20 traditional%20 roles.

Marriage in Judaism. (n.d.). https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/marriage-in-judaism

Pelenghian, O. (2025, April 10). WP3 Interview. personal.

Public Broadcasting Service. (n.d.). The first measured century: Book: Sourcenote abbreviations. PBS. https://www.pbs.org/fmc/book/sourcenotes.htm