After Effects

After Effects

I’m feeling slightly off this morning, behind in my usual schedule, a structure I greatly enjoy in its familiar rhythm of meditation, yoga, and writing. There’s a bit of a struggle for words right now. I’m feeling a rush to get something on the page before I fall even further behind in my routine.

and of course, all of it is completely made up.

there’s no reason for any of this to feel as it does other than my own insistence that it be a certain way.

this morning I slept in — a whole 30 minutes — much needed after an episode of anxiety kept me awake the entire night before. The effects are still lingering with me now: a sense of guilt for sleeping in, that nagging feeling that I have to rush to make everything work today.

all after effects of anxiety.

so today, the emphasis is on kindness.

I’ll slow down a little and give myself a break from rigid, self-established routines. There’s nowhere I have to be and nothing I need to get done.

really, I need do nothing.

the Holy Spirit tells me that this is so,

and I rest in this awareness,

content to simply be.

~

I love you,

Eric