Online Shopping is More Fun Than Writing

Plagued by motivation frustration? There is some good news.

Image created by author using Nightcafe

The Millennial Attention Span

I have a multitude of tabs open on my browser, just like every millennial (I presume).

One is almost always writing-related. Like a novel about a stay-at-home serial killer I’m working on currently. You can find some of the chapters on my Medium page (wink, wink).

One of the others is often something useless but entertaining, like YouTube or the Wikipedia page of an unsolved crime.

Sometimes, it’s an online store, like Shein, or Amazon, or… Shein.

Disclaimer: I’m not sponsored. I just like cheap shiny things.

Anyway… I go back and forth between those tabs throughout the day. And you know what —

I seem to prefer looking through thousands of cheap shiny objects to add to my wish list or shopping cart instead of writing my book!

Hmm… Who would’ve thought that fun distractions would take precedent to work? That’s CRAZY!!! Why pick out a new summer dress when you could do tedious proofreading!

But seriously, folks — it makes me wonder.

Does it mean I’m not cut out to be a writer? If I was truly passionate about it, wouldn’t I gravitate more to it than online shopping?

Or, maybe, I’m just lazy and incompetent?

Also — how do I find nice dress shoes that are also comfortable?

Those are some of the questions that send my anxiety sky-high. Then, I get overwhelmed. I spiral. I waste even more time on things that don’t help me achieve my goals.

Self-Doubt

Maybe I’d be better-suited in the role of product tester rather than that of an author.

But probably not.

I like writing. It helps sort out my thoughts and understand the world inside me.

But sometimes I want to escape my thoughts. That’s when I look for distractions, like browsing the web for useless entertaining things. It happens more often than I’d like.

I know it’s probably because of my anxiety.

Yet, I can’t help but feel inadequate. Weak-minded. Useless.

I’ve doubted myself many times. But, at the end of the day, I like what comes out of my imagination and thoughts. I want to share it with the world whenever I can. Even if it’s, sometimes, weird and random — like the story of a boy falling in love with a rock.

That I think is worth the effort to continue.

Laziness or Lack of Discipline?

I used to think the two were practically the same. But apparently they are not.

I was already starting to realize that on my own, but I asked Professor Google just to make sure. She told me exactly why the two were different:

Laziness is a general unwillingness to expend energy or effort, often characterized by choosing to do nothing.

Lack of discipline, however, means having plenty of energy but failing to direct it toward your goals; you act on short-term feelings (like wanting to scroll your phone) rather than long-term priorities.

That’s why I only write when I feel like it, instead of consistently for good long-term results. I do what I feel like doing at that moment in time… Just like cats.

Let’s not sugar-coat it — Productivity can be hard and grueling. Mindless activities are easy and provide a quick dopamine fix for your tired boredom-plagued brain.

Here is the good news — If you and I pick the easy choice, it doesn’t nessesarily make us lazy or bad at what we do, be it writing, music, corporate-induced anguish, etc. It makes us undisciplined.

Not that that’s a good thing. But, hey, it’s better than being lazy and incompetent. And discipline can be learned through practice. At least it’s not an inherent character flaw or lack of talent.

So don’t be discouraged because you get distracted by shiny objects. Push on through.

I’d love to hear some of your methods for avoiding distractions. Mine right now is wishful thinking mixed with anxiety meds and inspirational quotes.